Saturday, April 16, 2005

entertain thyself

Watched a couple of movies tonite... one being Phenomenon with John Travolta - sweet movie. But anyway, while I was watching/listening, I also played a little game with myself... "Guess the Artist!" I'd look at the thumbnails to see if I knew who the artist was, then mouseover and look at the status bar to confirm (or not) my guess. whoopie!

I can't say that I came across many new ones. Between Anne's continuous stream of linkolas, my own links, and regularly checking on glubba-glubba, and on and on and on... it's never ending, ya know?

Then I gave myself permission to not do any work and take a break, possibly even play with a set for FMG... but, nah, didn't particularly feel like it.

Sooo, quiet Saturday nite to save myself for my first ride on the gnu bike tomorrow. S'posed to be nice out... meeting some friends.

Later kids. OH, jen, I tried to comment on your lovely photos with the doggie, and it froze my screen. bummer. Very cool pics!

otay, I'm outta here.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

"just notice"

I saw my therapist this afternoon. I have a problem with feeling sad or stressed or feeling guilty, especially when I don't feel like doing a damn thing, and I try to *fix it* - to make it go away. When I can't, I get mad at myself. Apparently I frequently mention to her that I "hate feeling that way."

My therapist follows many buddhist philosophies, and one of her favorite things to say to me is "just notice" and not to make judgements about myself based on how I'm feeling. Or any judgements about myself in general. Old head trips and scripts... and I'm going to practice changing that.

I read an informative article about mindfulness this afternoon. It really captures and describes the whole "being aware" and just being. And noticing.

I'm going to work on that as if my life depended on it.
I think I deserve it.


Why is it that no matter how many hours of sleep I get - 4, 5, 6, or, if ever, 8, it doesn't seem to be an indicator of how tired I am when I get up??

Anyway. I'm creating a local greeting card designer's site - yippee! Her cards are sold here as well as here... fun stuff. Also designing a corporate site (different somewhat for me), and a fashion site - all locals. Does it get any more varied than that?

And yes kids, I am still updating *that* site... you know, the one I was going to stop stressing over? Well, after all, the pay is equivalent to almost 3 extra days at the hospital... let's see, get up at the buttcrack of dawn to save lives for 10 hours vs. work at home on *my* time, listening to tunes, smoking (yes, still) and drinking coffee. hmm.... remind me of this when I bitch about the site, k?

Alrighty then, have fun - c'ya later.